When a waiter asks you a question about your order, and you don’t hear them, how do you respond? Do you look to a loved one to help relay the information back to you? Perhaps you ask the waiter to repeat themselves? Or do you tell them you have hearing loss? More importantly, are you happy with the way you respond to this type of situation? And, if you would like to change your response, how would you like this to look?

What does being your own self-advocate mean?

Disability Rights UK defines self-advocacy as the following

• The ability to speak up for yourself and the things that are important to you.

• Being able to ask for what you need and want and tell people about your thoughts and feelings. 

• Knowing your rights and responsibilities, you speak up for your rights, and you are able to make choices and decisions that affect your life. 

What makes a successful self-advocate depends on the individual. For some, it may involve announcing loudly and proudly to each person you interact with that you have hearing loss. Whereas for others, it may simply be that you explain to your loved ones how to communicate effectively with you. 

When learning to be your own advocate, it can be helpful to consider the following questions: 

1. What do you want?

The first step to understanding what being a successful self-advocate means to you is to really think about what this entails. Think about everyday situations such as when out walking in the street, traveling on public transport, the doctor’s surgery, at work, and in the supermarket. Ask yourself the following questions:

• In which situations is it important for you to speak up for yourself?

• What do you want your colleagues, friends, or family to know about your communication needs?

The more clarity you have around the kind of advocate you want to be, the clearer your plan of action will be!

2. What is your current situation?

Next, consider your current situation. How do you currently react in different communication scenarios? What responses would you like to change and how? 

- What are your strengths?

How do you feel about working on your self-advocacy skills, and what are your current strengths and resources? We all have our own strengths. Perhaps you are calm and patient when explaining your needs to people, or maybe you enjoy raising awareness of hearing loss and associated communication issues. Sometimes, if you are struggling with low confidence, it may be difficult to identify your strengths. Why not ask a loved one for their opinion—other people often see strength in us, even when we can’t see it ourselves. 

- What is blocking you?

What is getting in the way of you being a successful self-advocate? Do you have concerns or insecurities? Perhaps you find it difficult to put into words how others can address your needs, or maybe you feel uncomfortable speaking about your hearing loss.

Focusing on your strengths and identifying things that could hinder your progress in becoming a successful self-advocate will help you to clearly structure a way forward.

3. What are your options?

What options are available to you? Have you successfully advocated for yourself in the past - What worked? What didn’t? 

Make a plan of achievable goals with a timescale and details to keep track of your progress.

What support might you need? Who could help you? Maybe it is a friend who can encourage you to speak up for yourself? Maybe writing in a journal could help you record your successes?

4. What will be your first step?

Out of 10, what is your level of commitment to becoming your own advocate?

What will be your first step, and when will you take it? This needs to be small and achievable to help you on your journey - maybe it’s a case of asking a colleague to get your attention before speaking to you, or perhaps it’s feeling more comfortable asking people for repetition.

Becoming your own advocate can take time and perseverance. Since hearing loss is invisible, it can be difficult for others to understand communication challenges. You may need to remind even those closest to you or your needs every now and then.

It takes trial and error and is an ongoing learning process. Through coaching, I can help you gain more clarity over what it means to you to be a successful self-advocate and we can come up with a way forward.

When you become your own advocate, you empower yourself to have more control over your life and relationships, leading to a better sense of self, community and wellbeing. 

Helpful resources: