Navigating the Emotional Impact of Hearing Loss: From Grief to Growth
If you’ve experienced hearing loss, you may have found it to be a life-changing experience. Often, learning to live without full sound not only means figuring out the practical implications, such as whether a hearing device might be helpful or the best place to sit in a restaurant to hear the people at your table but also means working through a landscape of emotions. Hearing loss not only affects how you interact with the world but also how you feel about yourself. For me, the emotional impact of hearing loss was huge.
My sudden hearing loss came as a shock, giving me no time to prepare practically or emotionally. Only after learning to manage the practical aspect of my hearing loss did I realise that I had been dealing with so much more. Three years after experiencing hearing loss, I reflected on its psychological impact and shared my insights in a personal blog:
“Hearing loss grief is something that medical professionals didn’t talk to me about. No recommendations were given for support groups or information sources…
… I felt guilty for feeling sad. I was swallowing down grief in giant gulps, trying to dismiss complex emotions. The pragmatic part of my character knew there were much worse challenges that life could present to me…
… Then, several months after my sudden hearing loss, I was given some advice from a stranger, whom I had briefly connected with online. I was told that, as with any other loss, I would need to grieve my lost sound with the attention it deserved. This advice proved so important in helping me address the emotional aspects of my new situation, It immediately made it feel acceptable for me to feel sad and allow myself to begin the process of grieving…
...I had periods of feeling angry. I was angry because I felt that I could no longer rely on my body; it had failed me. I contemplated the fragility of life. I felt sadness, isolation and exhaustion from missed words in conversations, that used to be so easy to follow. I continuously questioned my feelings as to whether they were a justified measure of grief and then learned to treat myself with more kindness. The acceptance, which took time, came ultimately when I sought a second medical opinion, and I was told bluntly by a specialist that I was unlikely to gain back any hearing and that this was my new normal. I needed this closure…”
Clearly, my hearing loss came with some challenging emotions. On reflection, I understand the importance of recognizing and addressing the grief associated with hearing loss. If I could go back in time, I would be kinder to myself and assure myself that things will get better.
The Link Between Hearing Loss and Mental Health: What Research Says
Numerous research studies have delved into the link between hearing loss and mental health. A 2020 review of scientific literature looked at evidence linking hearing loss with various emotional and psychological issues, including social isolation, anxiety, and depression. It was found that hearing loss is associated with a higher risk of loneliness and social isolation and that hearing aids can ease some of these effects.
Another study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Audiology examined the psychological and emotional effects of hearing loss. It was found that people with hearing loss often report higher levels of sadness and frustration compared to those with normal hearing. The researchers highlight the importance of addressing both the emotional and physical aspects of hearing loss to improve overall quality of life.
Emotional Responses to Hearing Loss
The emotional impact of hearing loss can vary depending on factors such as the severity of the loss, age of onset, and personal resilience. Let’s consider some common emotional responses:
Grief and Loss
When we lose hearing, we lose a part of ourselves that enables us to interact with the world. Our hearing enables us to enjoy our favourite sounds: the voices of our loved ones, our favourite music, and environmental sounds. Our hearing connects us to our loved ones and the people in our lives. When we experience hearing loss, we experience a loss of these human connections and the sounds that are important to us. Hearing loss is a loss, just like any other loss in life, and you may find you need to grieve your lost sound as you adjust to changes in your ability to hear and communicate effectively.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist, developed the Kübler-Ross model, also known as the Five Stages of Grief, which can be applied to hearing loss as follows:
Graphics of people portraying the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.)
Denial: Refusing to accept a hearing loss diagnosis, maybe believing it is temporary or not serious.
Anger: Feeling frustrated due to the difficulties and changes in lifestyle that can come with hearing loss, such as communication challenges and social isolation.
Bargaining: Trying to find a way to reverse or lessen the hearing loss, such as trying various treatments, hoping for a cure, or negotiating with a higher power—“If I get my hearing back, I will stop smoking.”
Depression: Feeling deep sadness and a sense of loss of your life before hearing loss.
Acceptance: Accepting and adapting to life with hearing loss, and finding a way forward.
You may not experience all, or any of these emotions, and they do not occur in any particular order. Grief can also take us by surprise; when we think we are over the worst, something may remind us of what we have lost, and again, we find ourselves navigating the feelings of loss.
Isolation and Loneliness
It can be incredibly isolating sitting in a busy restaurant with friends or colleagues and not being able to hear what they are saying. You might find yourself smiling and nodding, even when you have no idea what the conversation is about, meaning you feel as though you are not involved. The difficulty in connecting with others can lead us to feel isolated, and it may feel easier to withdraw from social situations altogether, resulting in feelings of loneliness.
Low Self-Esteem and Confidence
Difficulty in communication can impact our self-esteem and confidence. For example, you might feel insecure in your ability to communicate effectively at work or during social activities with friends.
Stress
Straining to hear or trying to compensate for hearing loss can cause feelings of stress. This constant effort to understand and participate in conversations can be exhausting and emotionally draining.
Frustration and Anger
Difficulty understanding speech or missing out on conversations can leave you feeling frustrated and angry, both at yourself and others. This can impact relationships and self-esteem. (Anger is also part of the grief cycle.)
Anxiety
You might feel anxious in social settings or new environments where communication is crucial. The fear of misunderstanding or missing important information can heighten your anxiety levels.
Depression
Chronic feelings of frustration, isolation, and anxiety can lead to depression in some people. The emotional toll of coping with hearing loss and its impact on daily life can be significant. (Depression is also part of the grief cycle)
Strategies for Managing the Emotional Impact of Hearing Loss
Working through the complex emotions associated with hearing loss is essential for emotional well-being. Here are some methods to help you cope with the emotional impact of hearing loss and begin to live well with it:
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Graphic of a girl looking at her reflection in a mirror with 2 thought bubbles reading: “I’m feeling frustrated, but it’s OK to feel this way,” and “I’ve faced challenges before, so I can handle today’s with strength.”
Whatever feelings you have about your hearing loss are valid. Accept your feelings and know that it is ok to feel them. Talk about your feelings with a friend, loved one, therapist or coach. If necessary, allow yourself to grieve the loss of hearing and understand that it's a normal part of the process.
2. Try Positive Self-Talk
Reflect on past situations that once felt impossible but you successfully navigated. Use positive affirmations from these experiences, such as:
I’ve overcome challenges before; I can face today’s obstacles with strength and resilience.
Consider what you would say to a friend in your position—now, offer that same encouragement to yourself.
3. Connect With Others
2 graphics. 1st graphic represents connecting with others: 8 people creating a circle together with their heads in the middle. The other graphic represents the benefits of therapy and coaching: a scribble (representing muddled thoughts/lots of emotions) holding hands with a circle with a smiley face.
Connecting with others who have also experienced hearing loss can provide comfort and understanding. Hearing loss support groups, in-person or online, provide a space to share stories, ask questions, and exchange advice and encouragement. Building connections with those who understand your experiences can help you to feel part of a community and ease feelings of isolation.
4. Explore Therapy and/or Coaching
Sometimes it might feel easier or more appropriate to speak to someone who is not emotionally involved in your life. Speaking with a therapist can help address the emotional challenges associated with hearing loss. A therapist can help you develop coping strategies, manage anxiety and depression, and work through feelings of frustration and grief.
Alternatively, a hearing loss coach can help you move forward with your hearing loss. Through coaching, you can work on living well with your hearing loss, quashing any limiting beliefs you have around your hearing loss, and working on confidence-building and self-advocacy. Through questioning and reflection, a coach will help you break challenges into manageable steps, set achievable goals, and celebrate your small victories along the way.
5. Get Creative
To represent getting creative, the first graphic shows a paint pallette, colourful musical notes, and a journal and pen. The second graphic shows a blue hearing aid and a grey cochlear implant, illustrating embracing technology.
Whether it’s art, music, dance, or journaling, some people find creative activities can be powerful tools for emotional expression. Everyone has different preferences, so consider which creative pursuits resonate with you. Engaging in hobbies that bring you joy can give you a sense of accomplishment and help shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you can still enjoy.
6. Embrace Technology
Various types of technology help people with hearing loss hear better. Consider devices such as hearing aids, cochlear implants, or assistive listening devices to help you communicate more effectively, rebuild your confidence and focus on what you can still control and do.
7. Try New Communication Techniques
To illustrate new communication techniques: 2 hands both with their thumbs and index fingers connected (representing sign language), and a pair of red lips with glasses and a book (representing lip reading!). The second graphic shows self advocacy at work: Two people in a work meeting - one person is saying, “I need a few things to help me perform at my best.”
Try new ways of communicating such as lipreading and sign language. Developing a new superpower to help you communicate more effectively can increase self-esteem and if you learn in a group setting, you might also make some new friends along the way!
8. Self-Advocate
Talk to your friends, family and workplace about what you need from them to enable effective communication. This might involve something as simple as getting your attention before speaking to you or making sure colleagues talk one at a time in meetings. Addressing challenges head-on can help you move forward toward acceptance.
9. Set Realistic Goals
To illustrate setting realistic goals: A person is standing up arranging documents, with a sand timer, The final image shows a graphic of a pink brain, with legs crossed, meditating, representing self-care.
Setting small, achievable goals can provide a sense of direction and purpose. Whether improving communication skills, learning more about hearing loss, or pursuing a new interest, goals can help you feel more in control and motivated.
10. Practice Self-Care
When learning to manage your feelings around hearing loss, taking care of your overall well-being is essential. Try to eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep and exercise regularly to help maintain a positive outlook.
Additionally, incorporating mindfulness and relaxation techniques such as meditation, spending time in nature, and engaging in hobbies can help calm your central nervous system and support emotional healing.
Acceptance is about embracing your situation while striving for improvements where possible.
What Have You Got Your Hearing Loss to Thank For?
Yes, hearing loss can be life-changing, but how it affects your life is up to you. While challenging, hearing loss can also be an opportunity for personal growth and transformation.
I have my hearing loss to thank for so much. It has made me more compassionate and appreciative of the little things in life, such as time spent with loved ones. I am ironically a better listener because of my hearing loss; I pay attention not only to the words spoken by my loved ones and conversation partners, but also to the movement of their lips, their body language, and their facial expressions, to get the most out of interactions. I have been lucky enough to connect with the most wonderful people because we share the experience of living with hearing loss. I have also developed and nurtured a love of writing, particularly about my own experiences in the hope of supporting others living through similar things.
What have you got your hearing loss to thank for?
Need Some Support?
Feel like you need a little support to get you back on your feet after hearing loss? Need some help moving forward? That’s what I’m here for! Don’t hesitate to get in touch to arrange a free 15-minute discovery call to tell me about your goals and find out how we can work together!
By addressing the emotional impacts of hearing loss and implementing strategies to manage them, you can discover a way forward with greater confidence and hope. Remember, you are not defined by your hearing loss but by your strength and resilience in facing it.
